Totally Useless Star Wars Trivia - Round 3
by scottivan
Summary: Totally Useless and Worthless Information


The Kaminos are a species of cloners, having perfected their  
technique over tens of thousands of years. 5, 250 years after  
the Battle of Yarvin, a dark lord called Darth Tyrel contracted  
with the Kaminos, in an attempt to reintroduce the red-skinned  
"force sensitive" sith people to the galaxy. He provided them  
with DNA samples from legendary sith purebloods like King Adas,  
Dathka Graush, even Emperor Vitiate. They had limited success.  
While the people can be cloned, the force cannot. That also explains  
why the clones that Palpatine (Sidious) had made eventually failed.

Chenna Jar Binks, the great grandmother of Jar Jar Binks,  
served as the chief justice of the Gunganese Supreme Court  
for over 80 years. On the other side of the scales of justice,  
her son, Ota Jar Binks, remains the only gungan ever executed  
by the gunganese justice system. His crime: in protest of his  
political policies, Ota sent a box of gooey, smelly feces to  
Boss Nass as a birthday present. Boss Nass was not amused.  
Ota was fed to a gooberfish as punishment, by Boss Nass himself.

Korsin Bentado, a sith lord from Kesh, was considered a genius.  
At the age of 14 years, he was a part-time professor of mathematics  
at Tahv City University. At 25 years of age, he was the dean of the  
Keshtah Technical College, in Berav, Keshtah Minor.

A'nang was one of the last remaining individuals from the long dead  
peaceful natives of Dathomir called Kwa. In 565 BBY, the holocron  
of A'nang went up for sale in a private auction on Ryloth. According  
to the auction house, the name of the winning bidder was "D. Vectivus"  
He got into a bidding war with three other interested parties.

Empress Acina ruled the Sith Empire with an iron fist. She was also  
one of the empire's most popular rulers ever, having support from  
the majority of empire citizens. However, they could be forgiven for  
not understanding the true depths of her evilness. Her enemies,  
however, did fully understand how truly evil she was. They were often  
her victims. Empress Acina loved taxidermy. She would often kill her  
enemies, then have them stuffed. Her royal palaces were filled with  
her taxidermy statues.

When Darth Zannah was just 13 years old, her master, Darth Bane,  
left Zannah alone on Ambria for a month to fend for herself.  
Her crime: writing a very unfavorable essay and poem about him.  
She found it hilarious. He did not. Apparently, Darth Bane had a temper.  
Wouldn't that qualify as child abandonment?

Her majesty Queen Hadiya of Shikaakwa was as extravagant as they come.  
She had five royal palaces, each situated on a 200 acre fenced property.  
Each palace was equipped with a solid gold throne, topped with a 10 inch  
diameter diamond. It was an automatic death sentence for a "commoner"  
to set foot on royal property without written authorization, which MUST  
accompany them at ALL times for a period of one year. It can also be  
revoked at any time, no reason necessary.

A female bouncer named Yuun was, for 35 years, an elected senator from  
Ruusan. She sat in the upper rows of the intergalactic senate chamber.  
She was even elected Supreme Chancellor twice, each term 4 years.

Sheev Palpatine, as Darth Sidious, was one of the greatest dark lords  
who ever lived. He was also one of the most arrogant. However,  
he was much worse as a child. He considered himself to be superior  
to the masses. Which explains his hobby. He liked to prove just how  
stupid and gullible people were. When he was 10 years of age, he once  
went door-to-door selling what he claimed were jars of a special  
regenerative serum, guaranteed to make people look younger.  
At 75 credits each, he sold thousands. Had he found the fountain of youth?  
Sadly, no. Each jar was filled with his own gooey, disgusting manure.  
Can you imagine going to bed every night with poop covering your face?

Long before she saved the life of a young girl nicknamed Rain,  
the balloon-like bouncer named Laa was, for a 20 year period,  
the chief librarian at the Olmondo City Public Library. She was  
also an accomplished author on Ruusan, having penned a series  
of murder mystery novels. In a strange coincidence, some of her  
novels involved the sith. (Bouncers can write using their appendages)

The Sessal Spire Volcano in southwestern Keshtah Minor, suffered a VEI-6  
(volcanic explosivity index) eruption 125 years after the arrival of  
the Skyborn. Volcanic ash rained down upon the City of Rees, in  
north central Keshtah Minor.

His majesty King Ramsis Dendup of Onderon, as a young man, was at one  
time a member of a cult that worshiped Freedon Nadd, a former Dark Lord  
of the Sith who once declared himself King of Onderon, and ruled for over  
100 years.

The planet Dilonexa XXIII in the outer rim, on a regular basis, suffers giant,  
extremely powerful tornadoes that would last many days. The worst tornado  
in Dilonexa history occurred 75 years after the Battle of Yarvin, when over  
half a million people died in one twister.

The Tho Yor was a series of space vessels which transported the ancestors  
of the jedi, called je'daii (pronounced je-day) to Tython in the deep core,  
over 36,000 years before the Battle of Yarvin. In 8 BBY, the former jedi  
knight turned sith lord Darth Vader, discovered one of the Tho Yor vessels  
on the shores of Mustafar, a few miles from his castle. Once he entered the  
space craft, he found that all of it's internal systems were completely destroyed  
by the extreme heat and poisonous gases of the volcanic planet.

Kashyyyk is a planet almost completely covered by wroshyr trees, putting the  
native wookiees at great risk of forest fires. The Kashyyyk Volunteer Fire Brigade  
is a modern, progressive fire service. They invented a way of putting out these  
dangerous forest fires almost immediately. It involves surrounding the fire with  
sensors, which then evacuates all of the oxygen from the area. The fires die out  
instantly. On the lighter side, wroshyr leaves are edible. Wouldn't that make  
Kashyyyk a giant salad? Where can I get 100 million gallons of Italian dressing?

The Jedi Order was formed in 25,783 BBY as the result of what became known  
as The Force Wars. Garon Jard, a highly respected Je'daii Master, was one of the  
first group of Jedi Masters. He was given the responsibility of teaching basic  
education skills to jedi younglings. Mr. Jard was up to the task, as he formerly  
was a board certified teacher with the Eastern Tython Unified School District.  
After all, what good is a jedi knight, if they are "dumber than a rock" and  
cannot figure out that 2+2=4. A basic education is a MUST.

Dromund Kass is a planet deep within sith space. Most of the day it is covered  
by very intense, magnetic lightning storms. As a result, the chances of a person  
being struck by lightning at some point during their lifetime on Dromund Kaas  
is about 75-1. Much higher if you live in Kaas City, due to the tall skyscrapers.  
Much better odds than winning the lottery.

The famous "Healing Hermit of Ruusan" named Darovit became an expert in the  
art of bartering. He would barter for everything he required, be it clothes, furniture  
even services. Mostly he offered his expert medical services. However, not always.  
Once he dug and built an outhouse for someone, in return for a top quality,  
handcrafted pair of snowshoes. He even bartered for supplies for his constant  
companions and friends, the native bouncers.

Emperor Vitiate likes to promote highly qualified individuals into positions of  
authority on his dark council. Take the Sphere of Defense of the Empire. It was  
commanded by legendary sith warriors like Darth Marr. Or how about the Sphere  
of Biotic Science. it was commanded by alchemy specialists like Darth Acharon.  
Even the Sphere of Laws and Justice had experience at the top. Commanded by  
Darth Mortis, this sphere's area of responsibility included law enforcement and the  
criminal justice system. Prior to being named the head of the sphere, Mortis was with  
the Dromund Kaas Customs Police for 85 years, starting as a customs officer, and  
serving as chief for his last 12 years until his promotion.

The wookiee named Chewbacca was born in 200 BBY. At 80 years of age, in 120 BBY,  
he was business partners with a young toydarian male named Watto, selling parts for  
various star ships. (It's a small galaxy, after all)

Sate Pestage is one of the most trusted and valued advisors within the administration  
of Emperor Palpatine. Mr. Pestage, having come highly recommended by Hego Damask,  
has plenty of experience in political circles, having served the citizens of his hometown  
of Daplona, Ciutric IV as tax collector, chief financial officer, and finally mayor for 25 years.  
The corruption started early, as he slowly siphoned millions from city coffers without the  
notice of either his superiors or voters.

Sith masters have, for many centuries, taken their apprentices to Kursid, a planet within the  
Outer Rim Territories. Their visits served two purposes; 1) To help train the apprentices, that  
it is not necessary to kill everyone. As Darth Plagueis told Sidious "kill one, terrify a thousand".  
2) it helps the local natives, who practically worship the sith, as a kind of "coming of age"  
ceremonial battle. Every sith from Darth Bane down to Darth Sidious has been to Kursid at least  
twice; once as apprentice, then again as master. Sadly, the custom ended with Darth Sidious.  
Sidious never took neither Maul, Tyranus, nor Vader, to Kursid. A few decades later, Darth Krayt  
returned to Kursid with a few of his underlings, including Nihl, Talon, and Wyyrlok. They found  
a civilization which worshipped the sith as gods. Statues of Bane, Zannah, Plagueis and Sidious  
and others were everywhere. Cults dedicated to each sith lord existed. Naturally, Krayt and his  
people loved it. The tradition has continued ever since.


End file.
